A Foolish Consistency

Thanks to all entrants this year in the Oscars Pick-em Contest. The polls are now closed. Here are my picks for tonight's ceremony. Unless you've been living in a cave with that has Internet access, but only to MemphisFlyer.com, then you don't know that I actually made all my picks public a few days ago. Flyer film critic colleague Chris Herrington and I had a three-part back and forth about the Oscars. I destroyed him rhetorically. Read it here, here, and here.

Good luck to all. You'll need it.

Picks:

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Director: Danny Boyle

Best Actor: Sean Penn

Best Actress: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz

Best Original Screenplay: Milk

Best Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Foreign Language Film: The Class

Best Original Song: Jai Ho

(Tiebreaker) Best Animated Short: Presto

Awwww, yeah. It's on. Let's do this. Click HERE to enter. Read on for details.

Ahhh...February. The sight of the month's battleship-gray sky, the sounds of migratory birds making your reacquaintance, the smell and feel of still-freezing rain, this could all only mean one thing: It's Oscar season!

Yep, somewhere out on the Left coast a couple folks are awfully anxious right now, counting down the days until this little awards ceremony, colloquially-known as "The Academy Awards," takes place. Apparently this award is given to people who act really good in movies, among other things. The award, believe it or not, is a statue of a naked gold guy holding some kind of sword thing. Weird.

Since I have a very strong feeling they're not going to be reading my name off an envelope come Oscar night, I think that having a personal stake in the awards will make the proceedings a little more exciting, a tad more nail-bitery. There's nothing like the prospect of money or prizes to make you really hate the good-fortune of those who win things against your wishes. So in the spirit of wholesome All-American Fun, and in the name of exhilaration everywhere, I'm pleased to formally announce the Cinemapprentice 2009 Oscars Pick-em Contest!

The rules are simple. I have chosen ten categories from this year's Oscar race. Just pick one winner in each category by filling out the survey linked to at the top of this post or on the far left of the blog. Push FINISHED when you think you've got your survey right, and you're entered!

I will also be making picks. The contest consists of the answer to the question, "Who can pick more Oscar winners correctly, you or me?" The winner will be me, or someone who does better than me. Of those who best me in head-to-head competition, the winner will be the individual who has the most correct predictions compared to the others who played the contest. A tiebreaker has been selected to further weed-out potential winners. If there are still multiple eligibly winning entries after the tiebreaker, the ultimate winner will be chosen by random selection.

I suspect you're wanting to know what the prize is. The ultimate winner will receive one DVD or video of his or her choice, though its value (tax and all) must be $24 or less (this ain't my day job, you know). Please provide the title of the film you want to receive upon your hoped-for victory in the Oscar picks survey. Please also provide your name and email address. The winner will be notified via email and arrangements for prize delivery will be made subsequently.

Entries must be received by Friday, February 20, 2009, at 11:59 p.m. I will announce my picks by Sunday, February 22, at 3 p.m. The awards ceremony airs live Sunday, February 22, at 7 p.m. CST. The winner of the contest will be announced by Tuesday, February 24.

Legalese:
In the case of multiple entries from one person, only the most recent submission will be considered. A husband and wife may each submit separate entries, but predictions from pets will be immediately disqualified. No exceptions, not even for dolphins. I'm no barrister, but probably there's some law against little kids doing this kind of contest. I reckon I should say that you must be 18 to enter (though I ain't gonna ask you your age). Also, no purchase is necessary (though if you do want to tell all your friends and neighbors about the contest, I'd be much obliged. Sure, that'll lessen your chances to win, but dude, like 4 people visit this blog). This contest might not be legal in Hawaii, and probably shouldn't be legal in Alabama. Alabamans don't got the sense God gave a marmot (this from an Arkansan).

This is the 7th annual Cinemapprentice Oscars Pick-em Contest. For those not around year first, I cleaned up against the competition. My prize for being so darn smart: Red Beard by Akira Kurosawa. For those not around year second, Josh Thompson of Memphis, TN, cleaned up against the competition. His prize for being so darn smart: Old School by Todd Phillips. For those not around year third, my wife Jeanine Akers of Memphis, TN, stabbed me in the back and beat me by one. Her prize for being so darn smart: Garden State by that one Scrub. For those not around year fourth, I won again, going a perfect 10 for 10. My prize for being so darn smart: The Bad Sleep Well by Akira Kurosawa. For those not around year five, the winner was, yet again, Josh Thompson of Memphis, TN. His prize for being so darn smart, AGAIN, was The Departed by the original Martin Scorsese. Josh Thompson of Memphis, TN became a full-fledged nemesis. For those not around year last, the victor was me. I say humbly that I'm considering changing my name to winnermapprentice. My prize for winning again: Akira Kurosawa's Drunken Angel.

Well I already know what DVD I'm going to buy for myself if I win again year this: Kurosawa's Dodes'ka-den. I know what's at stake for me. Do you? (that was supposed to come off all threatening-sounding, like I'm throwin' the dare right in your face. Sorry. Despite my verbal shortcomings, please nevertheless consider that dare face-bound)

Good luck!

Parts one and two of my weekend in Little Rock covering the Memphis Tigers basketball team for the paper I work for, the Memphis Flyer, can be found

Part One here

and

Part Two here.

Part 3 will be an exclusive on A Foolish Consistency, soon.

I'd give my left foot to decipher this Canadian riddle.